Mb Speaks: June 2017

Have you ever wondered what a dog is thinking? Don’t think for a moment they aren’t. I have a dog. His name is Sir Dudley McLovin. He’s a black haired Terrier Poodle mix. Like a teddy bear. When we got him as a pup, he came home and just laid down. He watched everyone, but wasn’t too excitable, especially for a pup. I guess we expected to receive some kind of infant puppy energy? “Maybe he’s a dud?” someone quipped, and well, that just stuck. His title and surname, I think it was the Tequila talking. Anyway, as the years went on he maintained that cool way of just being in the room, and that level of energy that once seemed lacking in his youth, was now a blessing in maturity. It was like a chapter in Candide. Because he’s so casual, sometimes when I have a problem, I think, “What would Dudley do? He’d decide things from a vantage point removed from the need that created them in the first place.” I’d think to myself. Simple. He’s such a genius. It turns out he’s quiet, but he’s been watching and thinking all along. I’m always amazed at how he can be aware of a stranger on the street in the middle of the night or know who it is carrying the treats. He perks up and lets you know. And his ability to ignore me? Astounding. Throughout his life he’s been the friendliest dog, wagging up to everyone. Go for a walk, and he’s the star. I’m relegated to being Dudley’s dad and carrier of the royal poo. I guess it’s because he doesn’t make small talk so everyone feels comfortable with him. He won’t ask any questions about the weather or if you got your driveway paved. He just reads your mind and carries on. And the poo? Not his fault. He’d let that stuff lay where it fell, if he could, because that’s the kind of dog he is. Dog slaves you know what I’m talking about. And there sure seems to be a lot of dogs. Wonder what it is we’re craving or missing? Even people with kids have dogs. What is it they’re looking for, quiet kids? For me it’s the no bllsht way Dudley looks at things, that I crave. An escape from FOX News. Dudley is the news channel I’ve dreamed about. “Everything is good here in Dogland. Coming up at 6? Food, then a nap. Back to you Barky.” Sigh, a dog’s life. That’s what I want. Eat when you’re hungry and bug someone until they let you out. So simple. Imagine making every decision in your life based on just making time to find a place to have a nap. My dog sits on his stool and looks out the window for hours, dreaming of rabbits and discarded sandwiches. Occasionally he’ll look at me and wonder why I’m still moving around so much. Frankly, given his sense of logic, I don’t really have an answer he’d accept. I could tell him he’s “kept” but he wouldn’t listen. No pressure to get the food. Someone gets it for you. “Just sit there. It comes in bowls” I imagine him telling his dog friends. He is a businessman of the dog world. Willing to let you carry him when he’s tired of walking on his own, passive aggressively waiting until he’s fed by the hand he can’t see beyond. Convinced that someone else will clean up his “dirt,” he’s talked with other dogs and they continue to just “drop theirs” too. We dog puppets even enact a law forcing us to pay to clean up after them. Got to hand it to dogs, they’re clever. And with the slightest glance towards any object, they can have us thinking about chew toys instead of climate change. “What’s that boy? A kid fell down a well!?” Mindor the Super Dog! With super powers and reasons far beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. Able to distract your reality with a single look. I wish I was more like Dudley, he and I. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn…..
Hey, is that a wrapper I hear?

Mb, Keep the faith.