HORROR SCOPES: JANUARY 2018

Mr Meaner

Aries: Aries, you should be feeling especially energetic and enthusiastic. Therefore, this is a great month to start a new enterprise, perhaps involving your home, or just about any kind of life enhancement. More than one opportunity could present itself to you. Consider replacing that outside light with a red bulb and start counting the money!
Taurus: Plans for a party or group gathering of some kind could take up much of your time and energy. You might have a lot of letters to write, phone calls to make, or other communications to take care of, but this is likely to prove to be a great excuse for getting in touch with your friends. Be sure you post COD and make those calls collect.
Gemini: Though you might wake up feeling a little feverish this month, Gemini, as the month progresses you’ll be your old self again. You should be putting a lot of effort into work, particularly mundane chores and tasks that you’d rather not do. Getting rid of the dead bodies in your basement is a good place to start.
Cancer: This is a great month to start any project that concerns writing, acting, or speaking, Cancer. Your creative energies should be flowing freely and abundantly, and you should enjoy the rush of new ideas that keep popping into your head. This time, try suppressing the ones that land you in prison.
Leo: If you aren’t already into real estate, gardening, or interior decorating, you might discover a talent for one or all of these fields and decide to pursue it. You might have it in mind as a possible future source of income, and therefore you could consider looking into getting some formal training in the field. If you can’t afford the schooling rent Season 1 of Sex in the City and start practicing your lisp.
Virgo: Your energy and enthusiasm for life should be operating at a very high level this month. You may therefore want to get together with some of your friends, and might even organize an impromptu social event of some kind. Can you spell “orgy?”
Libra: A chance to make some extra money could come through someone you know slightly, Libra, perhaps from a social event you both once attended. You might not be totally familiar with the type of work involved, but today your mind is sharp and so you’ll probably pick it up quickly. Those photos you took may fetch you more than you imagine!
Scorpio: A social event or group meeting could fire your enthusiasm about new goals that you may share with the others present, Scorpio. These goals may involve giving you a chance to use your creative talents as well as enjoy the companionship and camaraderie of your fellow group members. Grab a bottle of Olive oil and head over Virgo’s place.
Sagittarius: Sagittarius, you might begin work on a project that you’ve wanted to do for a long time. This may be career related or personal, but either way it should advance you in whatever direction that you want to go. The only downside is that you might be a bit too hard on yourself and far too critical of your work. It might be better to not try at all.
Capricorn: Capricorn, you’re expanding your horizons. You and a friend could plan a vacation that you’re really excited about. It could involve a trip by air, perhaps across the ocean. The trip is mainly for pleasure, but it probably involves a place you’ve always been interested in and are anxious to see, so it’s an educational trip as well. It’s never a bad time to learn about penicillin.
Aquarius: Some good news may reach your ears via the grapevine regarding your career. This might involve a raise in salary, Aquarius, or it could be new benefits, new profit sharing plans, or anything that may involve investments or money that comes your way above and beyond a paycheck. If it’s true, spend it all on hard liquor and lottery tickets before some finds out how inept you are.
Pisces: A new and exciting potential love relationship could pop into your life. This is the kind of instant attraction that sets your nerves tingling! Consider getting off the crack.